Imagine it's the year 1910. You are a middle aged white man,
a financier rich beyond anyone's wildest dreams, married with two beautiful
children. Only, there's a problem: you haven't the time or desire to raise
these lecherous offspring. And the last nanny just up and quit for no reason! What is the solution? The
sensible course of action is to use your freemason connections and perform a
ritual to summon a powerful wind demon who can look after your kids for you!
That is the premise of the epic Disney tale, Mary Poppins.
I didn't read the books, but based on the film, you could
argue that Poppins is some sort of unknown mystical creature, or a witch, but
let's face it: there is something more sinister to her. She is incredibly vain,
unyieldingly demanding, and all too interested in shaping the minds of
neglected children. Although the movie is positive and upbeat, awash in
everything Disney, I just ask you to consider the possibility that the story is
somewhat different than how it was presented, along with unanswered questions.
How did this family become so fabulously wealthy? Was it by honest means? Did
they have help? Is it possibly to be involved with the highest level of banking
and financing without being influenced by powerful organizations such as
Freemasons, the Illuminati, the Gnomes of Zurich?
The father/financier, listed in the credits as "Mr.
Banks" (what a clever name), never indicates having any connection with
Poppins, and doesn't talk to his family about anything related to it, besides the
obvious discomfort that comes with trying to hire a nanny. But why would he? He
hangs out at the bank and Royal Exchange all day with stuffy old men, I
wouldn't put it past him to put on some robes and invoke some dark rituals
involving pentacles, silver daggers, silly dancing, that sort of thing.
Probably a lot more fun than hanging out with his family, too.
If you are willing to accept, even ever so remotely, this
possibility, then please continue reading. I proudly present to you:
Mary Poppins: Demon of the Wind, Harvester of Lost Souls
Mary Poppins flies in on an umbrella and blows all of the
competing nannies, who have been waiting
in line patiently all day, away to God only knows where using wind magic, then
goes in to the house and beguiles the dad in to the nanny position they have
been advertising. The undertext implies she was responding to the ad which was
made up by them and quickly torn up and discarded by their father. But what better
way to win over their trust than convince them she is on their side? She is no
lesser servant of evil, and immediately sees the weakness of the one who summoned
her, their father, immediately planning her revenge on those who would dare to
demand her services.
The action begins as she shows off her wicked power to the
children, and that they too can invoke the harmless seeming magic.
They get on with their day and head down to the park where
they meet up with Poppins' friend, a homeless drug addict. Dick Van Dyke steals
the show, dancing, singing, cracking jokes; the total package. He is always
ridiculously happy about nothing, anything and everything, and he really really likes to dance. He participates
gleefully in Poppins' induced hallucinations, right at home with his cartoon
animals and animated carnival machines. It is unclear with his drug of choice
is, since crack and meth haven't been invented yet, but it could be any mix of laudanum,
alcohol or some form of ephedrine. Here he is trying to walk in a straight
line.
They pop into the chalk drawing and do all sorts of wacky
shit, including driving some horses on the merry go round and having them pop
off and ride around. The interesting part here is where Poppins animates merry
go round horses. Everyone else's horse has their eyes open, but Mary's horse
has its eyes closed, as if sleeping (see picture at the beginning of the article). If anyone has any theories as to what this
signifies, I'd be interested in hearing your ideas.
They sing and dance some more with some cartoons, and
eventually the magic journey/hallucination ends and they head home. The kids
are too excited to sleep, and Mary denies that anything "magical"
ever happened. The kids get upset but she easily sings them to sleep with her siren
song.
The next day a fucking dog comes to tell Mary her uncle has
laughed himself up into his high ceiling loft. As you can expect, hilarity
ensues. When they get home Mr. Banks is able to clear the cobwebs of her
charming away and attempts to get Poppins under control, but is no match for
her dark magicks. She resumes uncoiling her corrupting essence over the
children by telling them about a bag lady that feeds pigeons. They fall asleep
again, their souls tainted a shade darker.
The next day they head to the Bank, with Mister...Banks to
make a deposit, but her influence is still felt - the children rebel against
their weak excuse for a father and his masonic pals. The evil power surround
them like a dirty, foul blanket to such an extent that they induce panic and
confusion in the crowds of patrons nearby, causing everyone to withdraw their
savings. The masons sense something is amiss and dispatch policemen to capture
the children, but they slip away, eventually finding an obliterated Dick Van
Dyke who has been getting high inhaling fumes while cleaning chimneys all day.
He stumbles them to safety and then decides to clean the
chimney in their house, which they, reunited with Mary, who rewards their bad
behaviour by having them all fly up to the roof, wander around, climb oily
smoke stairs, sing and dance with a bunch of dirty men. Finally, the neighbour,
an eccentric ex-military man who has clued in to Poppins' shenanigans, shoots
fireworks at them, likely blessed by the Bishop of Canterbury.
Meanwhile, Mr. Banks is in deep shit with his buddies over
the chaos and confusion caused by his children. He knows he needs to do
something, and so tries one final time to fire Mary.
Still no match for her, she has turned his mind to limp,
misshapen putty. He heads to the Royal Exchange to meet his fate. I know they
have been talking about the bank the entire movie, but you can tell it is the
Royal Exchange, not the bank, by comparing these photos.
Symbolically they break his hat and his umbrella. As you
probably recall, Mary Poppins also has an umbrella that she uses to fly with. Clearly
there is some connection between the Poppins entity and this stuffy, secrative,
old organization. They fire Banks and he finally snaps.
This is where the directors' cut ends. Of course it is a
Disney movie, so they somehow tack a happy ending on this, for some reason they
just forget about it and everyone is happy and still rich. Mary leaves, fully
broken from the weak enchantment summoning her in the first place, knowing his
children will grow up to be vile minions of darkness.
