I Like Food

I'm sure you feel the same way.  There isn't too many people I know who are like eww no get that delicious food away from me.  So I guess I was being a little naive when I decided to go out with some friends Friday night for some pub fare and found out that every place is busy.  everywhere.

Apparently there is an old saying that goes "if you want to lose money, own a restaurant".  I don't see how that could be true Friday night, where every table is busy and every waitress wishes they were anywhere else.  I don't know how much it costs to keep a restaurant running, but with the prices being what they are in Victoria, you have a hard time convincing me all restaurants are poor.  Victoria, being a tourist town, has a crapload of restaurants...so many that lots of them shut down during the winter because apparently their food is so shitty they need tourists who know nothing about them to keep them running.

People in Victoria like to eat food.  I've seen it.  And it's not like people don't have the cash.  Can you imagine a restaurant that is so shitty that even ravenous, loaded SUV's full of yuppies won't go to them.  Here's a tip about owning a restaurant: DONT MAKE SHITTY FOOD.  It might be cheap, but people won't come back, and its regular customers that keep your restaurant going.  I am a regular to some places around town, like the Italian Food Imports on Blanshard and the Fiesta Cafe at Douglas and Broughton.  I can tell they appreciate the regulars, because they make good food.  It's not gourmet or chichi fifi gimmick food.  Its decent portions for decent prices, and it tastes good.

One other tip, don't ever order pizza from Sarpino's.  It's worth than eating a decaying corpse.  If you're sitting around somewhere, too lazy to cook but really hungry, do yourself a favor.  Instead of ordering Sarpino's just go out to your back yard and grab a big handful of dirt and just start chewing on that.  I guarente it tastes better than the congealed piss they serve at Sarpino's.

Dirty Meat

I had to buy pizza for lunch today since I forgot my money at home, and I have no FOOD at home, so I had to go home to get money for food. Since it takes me my full lunch hour to get home and back to work, I could only get something to eat that was:
-on the way between my home and work
-something i could eat while walking
I know what you're thinking and, its true I do come up with some wicked problem solving ability when I'm in a pinch. Not eating is also not an option since I get REAL cranky when I haven't eaten for a while.
So I go to the pizza place on the way whose pizza drastically resembles pizza you probably bought ate and loved as a kid: greasy, crunchy, not particularly good, but not Sarpinos (ZING) and as usual I get whatever is freshest, which at this particular wrinkle in time, was meat lovers. I would say I am a meat lover, even though what passes for meat in our society does not mean ACTUAL meat. So i'm eating this greasy chunk that may or may not have been some type of slug, and I have a flashback to Canada day.

Canada day was a pretty good time. It wasn't an amazing time, since I like most other Canadians had to work the next day. But I did get to go see the freemason lodge during their open house (which in Victoria at least is every Canada day between 10am and 3pm) and hung out at various points in town with my homies. But what stands out at this Canada day was our trip to John's Place.

John's Place is what I can only call the most overrated breakfast place in Victoria. While most breakfast places in Victoria are both overcrowded on weekends and overpriced, this one in particular also has some of the worst food I have ever eaten in a breakfast place that wasn't fast food. I had eaten lunch and dinner at this place before, and I was actually impressed with the food at that particular time. So I followed the logic that "hey, the dinners are good, if this is a breakfast place, the breakfasts must be GREAT". I was never more wronger in my life.

I ordered the eggs benedict, because I love eggs benedict but am far too lazy to make my own hollandaise sauce. So when I go out to breakfast, I can generally justify dropping $12 on some eggs benny because that is the only opportunity I have to eat them. What do I get? oh the eggs benedict are there, the hollandaise is present, and the english muffins are as english as english muffins can be, but here they have a friggin sausage mcmuffin chunk of bloated grease fat RUINING EVERYTHING. I have never wished I had thrown up in a restaurant more than the day I ate that meal. And I only ate it because of the starving people in Africa. I hope they appreciated it.