Mogwai is coming to my home city of Victoria, and I couldn't care less. I have a lot of friends who insist they are a good band, and I can certainly see why they have appeal. I watched a video of theirs, with a series of very charismatic animated insect type things flying around. There's nothing not to like about them as far as bands go.

I could even have seen myself liking them back in the day when I shaved my head and thought dancing was facist (moshing being the only pure form of showing appreciation for music) and I thought hipsters were the center of the known universe. But let me tell you this little known secret about them: they're not.

Not to change the subject to something that makes me wretch less involuntarily, but I feel - on some instinctive reptillian level - that there is something very wrong with band names being pop culture references.

It could be that its some sort of game to pick something that is a semi-obscure reference, that everyone agrees sounds cool. Or maybe they picked it because they think it sounds stupid. Maybe they picked it as their own way of corrupting something as humble and pure as a mogwai. What they forgot of however was the Aristotlean engagement to test a theory and that is to imagine if the reference would make a good Jeopardy question. These are the furry happy creatures that turn into Gremlins if fed after midnight. YOU LOSE. There is no way I'm giving them my money.