Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Whats in a name?


My parents have interesting thought processes. Rather than give me a name based on something in my heritage, relatives, or because they thought it sounded cool, they ended up giving me my name because it doesn't rhyme with anything. My name also means Kingly, which is pretty badass compared to most people's names. Apparently my mom wanted to call me Jason, but my dad thought Jason was a dogs name. This strategy, they determined, would be enough of a personality shelter to stop kids from making fun of me. Therefore, I would be the most popular kid in the school. I guess thats what they thought.


What they didn't count on was the sheer industriousness that children possess. Their fertile minds, like the River Nile have no end to a bounty of figs and pommegranetes. To their credit though, in all the years they only managed to come up with one really horrible name that rhymed with mine. So horrible in fact that I will never tell another soul what that name is. The happy ending to this story is that they SAID they tried to do the same thing for my brother, Larry. But I guess they didn't realize that EVERYTHING HORRIBLE YOU CAN SAY TO MAKE FUN OF A CHILD rhymes with Larry. So what I'm really thinking was that they deliberately gave him that name so

he would attract all the picking on two years prior to my arrival, so I would have guarenteed clear sailing. Thanks mom and dad!

No comments: